Are You Fawning? The HIdden Survival Pattern Behind People-Pleasing

You've heard of fight, flight, or freeze, but there's a fourth survival response many people live in without realizing it—it's called the fawn response. Learning how to stop people pleasing starts with understanding that this pattern isn't a character flaw but a nervous system response where your brain learned that the safest way to avoid hurt, conflict, or rejection was to accommodate others' needs at the expense of your own. If you've ever said yes not because you wanted to but because you didn't want someone to feel bad, this survival mechanism may be quietly running your life.

This response typically develops in childhood when authentic emotions weren't safe to express, creating adults who are extraordinarily intuitive at reading rooms but disconnected from their own inner voice. The crucial distinction? There's a difference between being a peacekeeper who maintains peace at cost to themselves versus a peacemaker who creates genuine harmony through healthy boundaries. Real peace doesn't come from suppressing truth—it comes from honoring it with compassion and clarity.

Listen to Episode 22 Now

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In this episode you’ll learn

• How to stop people pleasing by understanding the fawn response—a survival pattern added by psychotherapist Pete Walker to fight, flight, and freeze

• The critical difference between being a peacekeeper who sacrifices themselves versus a peacemaker who honors truth with healthy boundaries

• Why highly intuitive and empathic people often struggle most with people pleasing after learning to read subtle emotional cues for safety

• Real examples including hiring a business consultant you didn't need and women who got married to avoid disappointing others
  Five practical steps to shift out of people pleasing including pausing before saying yes and redefining what true kindness actually means

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