Family Stress Test

Family Stress TestStress is a natural and normal “by-product” of every family’s life. In fact, family stress can bring out the best of us: as we stretch to meet the challenges we face, we become better parents, our children blossom and our families grow. But too much stress can spiral our families in the other direction. Take this Thriving test to see how your family fares.

Set 1

1. There is a lot of bickering in our house. Someone is always angry at someone else.

2. There’s never enough time to sit down together, either to talk or to eat. There’s always too much to do.   3. My spouse and I argue a lot about how to raise the children.

4. It’s like pulling teeth to get the kids to help around the house.

5. Our family has experienced a lot of significant change recently (divorce, death, blending family, job loss, illness, other trauma).

6. Money is very tight. My partner and I have constant conflicts about how to spend it.

7. My child has been having behavioral problems at school.

8. The children get upset when they hear us arguing.

9. I work too much, and it’s really getting to me.

10. We don’t really talk about hard issues; we just try to hold our breath, wait and let them go away.

Set 2

1. We acknowledge feelings, encourage their expression and allow time for dealing with the issues these feelings raise.

2. We plan time for family activities. And we eat together at least once every day.

3. If a blended family, we maintain and nurture original parent-child relationships and let new relationships develop in their own time.

4. I feel confident in my role as parent.

5. Our family easily maintains a sense of humor and playfulness.

6. Family priorities take precedence over work.

7. I know what’s important to my kids.

8. When issues arise that we get stuck on, we ask for help from other family members, support groups, community-based programs, clergy and/or a therapist.

9. We have enough money for the important things.

10. Everyone in the family has responsibilities around the house and does them without being nagged.

If you answered true more often in the first set than in the second set, you may want to seek help lowering the stress level of your family. Families that communicate about problems, who face issues as they arise, who support one another and seek help when it is needed, can build strong bonds among themselves, nurture a healthy and loving family and have a lot more fun doing it!

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Do you have a family that puts the FUN in dysfunction? Do you cringe at the thought of spending a weekend with certain family members?

Or, maybe you have a great family, but there’s been some recent ‘upsets’ that have caused some tension or awkwardness.

And yes, even if you feel like you are the only “normal” one in your family! We are the chain-breaking generation, and it’s time to release those unhealthy patterns.

Join me for our next Group Energy Clearing Session!

Author’s content used  under license, © 2008 Claire Communications

Top Ten Things to Say to Yourself

Top Ten Things to Say to YourselfOften the things we say to ourselves we wouldn’t even think of saying to another person.

We blame, shame, call names of the meanest sort, nag, belittle and bully ourselves through self-talk.

What if, instead, we were gentler with ourselves, asked ourselves questions and listened to the responses.

What if we treated ourselves as we treat a best friend, someone we love dearly?

Here’s a Top Ten list of loving things to say to yourself:

1. What do you feel?

Asking ourselves what we feel can help put names to, and identify emotions. Listening for the response and being honest with ourselves is like taking our emotional temperature.

2. What do you need?

A need is different from a want. Whereas a want states a desire, a need is usually a statement about nurturing. Pay attention to your needs, they’re about caring for yourself.

3. Good job

Congratulate yourself on a job well done whether it’s mowing the lawn, writing a poem or cleaning the bathroom. Give yourself a verbal pat on the back.

4. I apologize

Saying “I’m sorry” for all the wrongs we have done ourselves can be the first step in healing.

5. Let’s play

Lighten up and be playful. Listen to what comes up when you suggest play.

6. Breathe

Reminding ourselves to breathe helps relieve tension, gives us that moment we sometimes need to center and ground ourselves.

7. I forgive you

Sometimes it’s easier to forgive others than to forgive ourselves. Yet, to have closure and to move on, often means we have to forgive ourselves.

8. Let go

Releasing worries, resentments, anger, fears loosens the grip of resistance and makes room for growth.

9. Be present

Staying present, being aware of the physical, acknowledging the moment, this is when we are truly alive.

10. I love you!

We say it to others, why not say it to ourselves. Say it again.

 

Author’s content used under license, © 2008 Claire Communications

 

Top 10 Actions That Say “I Love You”

Top 10 Actions That Say “I Love You”The saying, “Words are cheap, action speaks,” is never more true than when applied to “I love you.” Whether spoken to a romantic partner, your children or other family members, if the actions aren’t there to back up the loving words, it all means nothing. Below are 10 of the best ways to say “I love you” in your actions. But there are thousands more. Take a look at these, then grab your journal or a notepad and see how creative you can get in coming up with your own ideas. Most importantly, follow through on actually doing them.

1. Greet your loved ones with a big smile, a hug and a kiss.

2. Really listen to what your loved ones are saying; give them your undivided and undistracted attention.

3. Support each other through tough times.

4. Do simple (even random) acts of kindness, such as massaging shoulders or feet, cooking a favorite meal, running a bath.

5. Spend one-on-one time with your loved ones, with no particular agenda.

6. Commit to letting go of judgment of their faults.

7. Come home on time.

8. Be impeccable with your word. If you say you’ll do something, do it, and by the time you said you’d do it.

9. Take responsibility for your part in any conflict, and then look at how you can do better next time. Step out of the blame game.

10. Share yourself and what lives deeply inside of you. This is a precious gift and conveys trust and security.

Author’s content used under license, © 2008 Claire Communications

Tips For Stress Free Holidays

Tips For Stress Free HolidaysAh! The holidays! As a child there is nothing like the anticipation of all the joy that the holidays bring but as we grow older, it seems as though we take on some stresses that we would rather not have. Here are some tips that can help relieve the stress and tension:

Take Care of Yourself
Get regular exercise; take it easy on the caffeine, sugar and alcohol; get enough sleep; eat healthy food — all the things that are good for our well-being -you know this stuff.

Take a mini-break to get grounded
Visualize your feet being connected to the earth, those connections going through carpet, cement, etc. and down into the earth.  Also the healing energy of the earth coming back up through your feet to the top of your head and beyond connecting you to the heavens, keeping you strong and balanced.  This can be done anywhere, even standing in a line!

Let go of expectations
That things need to be a certain way
That people around you need to behave a certain way
That you need to do a lot of extra things (decorating, cards, etc) because “that’s what we’ve always done”

Delegate
It’s ok to ask for help. It’s a necessary thing, and it helps others to feel needed and wanted.

Appreciate the person next to you
Where ever you may be during the holidays -step outside your own thoughts to notice who is next to you (in a store, in your home, in your neighborhood) and say or do something kind for them. It will raise their energy and yours!

Start a new tradition
Today’s modern families may have different dynamics than those a generation or two ago. You can begin something fun and new!  My husband cooks great Chinese food.  A few Christmases ago that’s what the kids wanted for Christmas dinner, so that has now become our tradition.  Well, that certainly works for me -yum!

Zip Up
With one had trace a line a few inches out from the body, from your root to your bottom lip. This energetically “zips” you up so you can avoid taking on stressful energy around you. To go along with this, visualize a bubble of light around you.

Accupressure Point to reduce anxiety and bring on the calm
On the top of your foot, find the spot in between the big toe and your second toe.  Come toward the leg about two fingers width (about an inch or so).  Rub with your thumb and breathe through it.  This calms anxiety.  Also, if you have a headache rubbing on the front side and the bottom of the foot (same location, just on the flip-side)  at the same time can help take away some of the pressure.

“Keep it light
Don’t overdue it.  Give yourself permission to say NO to unnecessary extras.Listen and follow your inner guidance, don’t let yourself be pressured by other people’s expectations. Remember, it’s ok to have your healthy boundaries!

I hope that these tips can give you some new ideas and some renewed energy to enjoy the holidays with those you choose to spend the time with.

How Well Do You Navigate the Holidays?

How Well Do You Navigate the Holidays?Take a big, deep, beautiful breath: the holidays will be here before you know it. For many of us, this time of year brings with it the joys—and challenges—of family gatherings, gift exchanges, and holiday festivities. The good news is that with a little planning and thoughtfulness, you can navigate the holidays with grace.Take this self-quiz to see how ready you are for this year’s holiday season.

True or False?

1. I start planning for the holidays early so that I’m not on overdrive throughout December.

2. When my family is making plans, I make a point of negotiating what I really want to do and where I’d like to spend each holiday.

3. If my family exchanges gifts, I joyfully give what I can afford and enjoy giving. I stick to my budget.

4. I make sure that I eat healthy food that I enjoy every day. This may require me to take care of my own meals or contribute to meal planning and preparation.

5. When I accept a party invitation or a request for my time, it’s because I genuinely want to—and have the energy to participate wholeheartedly. I know how to say “no” to invitations I don’t want to accept. I don’t beat myself up about it or let myself get “roped in.”

6. I recognize the need for downtime and breaks, so I don’t fill my schedule to the brim with events, shopping and other holiday preparations.

7. I value my important relationships and give them the time and energy they need and deserve. If this means that I go to fewer gatherings outside of my immediate circle, so be it.

8. I don’t dwell on the changes in my family that make me unhappy or sad. I accept the way things are now, and enjoy the loved ones around me.

9. In the lead-up to the holidays and during the holidays themselves, I do something that I find fun or pleasurable every day.

10. The holidays are a time to appreciate loved ones and express my spirituality. I make a point of noticing what’s good in my life, and feel gratitude for those things.

If you answered false to more than four of these, you may want to consider ways to make this holiday season more enjoyable and less stressful.

Author’s content used under license, © Claire Communications

To learn of ways to help release some stress, check out the post Stress Free Holiday Tips.

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year! To say goodbye to the old year and ring in the new, below are the top ten most-read blog posts of 2011. Enjoy! Read more

Q&A 1: Why Doesn’t Energy Therapy Work for Me?

Question: Why don’t I feel like the energy work that’s been done on me in the past isn’t working like it should? Read more

Do Crystals Really Heal?

Do Crystals Really Heal?People ask me all the time what I think about crystals. There seems to be some controversy about this subject, but I think crystals are fabulous.  Read more

Are You a Creator or a Criticizer?

Build up, don't tear downA good thing to remember
A better thing to do
Work with the construction gang
Not the wrecking crew.

 

 

Dale Carnegie said, “Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain and most do.”  Do you find yourself falling into critic mode more often than you’d like? It’s easy to do. We live in a society of critics. It sometimes seems much easier to be negative and critical of everything from the latest movie to our neighbor’s choice of hairstyle. But we can learn to resist this impulse. It’s destructive not only to our fellowmen but to us too.

Dwelling on the negative, broadcasting it outward, will lower your vibration.  After all, you can’t throw mud without getting some on your own hands. Nobody likes a critic.  Like the Yiddish proverb says, “A critic is like the girl who can’t dance so she says the band can’t play.”

You may have good intentions in general, but you’ve heard what the man said about the road to hell and its paving stones. So instead we can connect good intentions with creative action. Many people think that once they get the motivation they will get things accomplished. Actually, the reverse is true: action precedes motivation and begets more action and motivation in an endless positive circle.

When my kids come to me with a problem, after hearing and validating it, I usually ask (and by now they know it’s coming), “How would an extraordinary person deal with that situation?” or “If you were a super-genius, what would you do next?” In no time they have a solution figured out because the super-genius and extraordinary person within themselves gets to work and figures it out! Creativity is built into every one of us; we all possess creative powers. Be brave enough to live creatively. And the bonus of that is that when you spend time improving yourself you won’t have time to criticize others.

Want to Raise Your Vibration?

Want to Raise Your Vibration?In my line of work as an Energy Practitioner, I find that nearly everyone wants to know how they can feel better and how they can have a higher vibration, and also how they can maintain that higher vibration.

Many people want a formula to tell them how to keep their vibration strong and positive. They believe there must be some ancient secret or new age discovery that will teach them how to make that happen in their life.

Well, I’ll tell you an age-old, tried and proven, definitely-works remedy for a waning personal vibration. Are you ready…. Drum roll please…

~ Be kinder than you need to be. ~

Yep, that’s it! Kindness and service to others literally raises your energetic vibration! Is that answer too easy for you? Or perhaps that requires too much of you?

We all know that what you send out is what you get back. So, of course it makes sense that if you seek for happiness, helping someone else experience happiness will automatically bring it your way as well. When we help our fellowmen, not only do our deeds assist them, but we put our own problems in a fresher perspective. It’s a win-win situation!

In my youth I was taught that if you are having a bad day, the best way to ‘snap out of it’ is to do some service for another person. If I was feeling grumpy or out of sorts, or sad about something, I learned to ask myself, “What service can I do for someone else today?”

Through experience I know that the best way to forget my troubles is to unselfishly help someone else. There is something about connecting with another person that makes you feel good through and through –and who wouldn’t want that?

It doesn’t need to be something big, elaborate and time consuming. It can be as easy as some kind words to your neighbor at the mailbox, holding a door for someone, letting someone go ahead of you in a line, sending a thank you note to someone. And it can even be anonymous service, such as pulling some weeds in your neighbor’s yard while they are out (as long as you know them well enough to be in their yard. Otherwise, that could be creepy)

There’s an unexplainable miracle in helping others, that is, by losing ourselves, we find ourselves. The more we help others, the more substance there is to our souls.

By giving out you create more room to grow on the inside. We acquire more depth as we serve others—of course it is easier to “find” ourselves because there is so much more of us to find!

So, in this world we live in where everyone seems rushed, and out for themselves, and not able to see past their own problems, how about trying something that may seem a little counter-intuitive? Take a look around and be open to doing random acts of kindness for others. Opportunities for service abound!

So, to raise your energetic vibration, release some of your own worries, and enjoy more peace and joy in your life, the answer is easier and more practical than you may have thought. Just remember, you can’t help others without helping yourself, or as my grandma used to say, you can’t make a jelly sandwich for someone else without getting some of that sweet jelly on yourself!