Posts

Special Mother’s Day Gift

/7 Comments/in , , , /by

Special Mother's Day GiftCall me a party-pooper, but I’ve never really loved Mother’s Day. Oh, I’ve had some good ones over the years, also some not-so-great ones, but all in all, let’s just say it is not my favorite holiday.

Don’t get me wrong, I like being able to honor my own mother, and give her the thanks she deserves, but since she lives in a different city I don’t usually spend the day with her.

I’ve had this conversation with other moms over the years, so I know I am not alone. I think the thing is, it is a day specifically set aside where we feel (or we choose to feel) “judged” on our mothering skills. And as much as I try not to, if I’m really honest, I do find myself comparing myself to moms who seem to have it all together. I’m talking about moms who…

  • always speak in quiet tones to their children,
  • have dinner on the table every night,
  • are on the booster club of every sport their child participates in,
  • volunteer constantly at their children’s schools,
  • understand the ‘new math’ and how to explain it to their kids,
  • never miss reading with them at bedtime
  • have a healthy breakfast AND after school snack every day,
  • know how to make a delicious apple pie,
  • bake their own bread (including grinding their own wheat)
  • have an immaculate home,
  • are always caught up on laundry,
  • know the exact right words to say to get their kids to practice piano or other musical instruments every day,
  • actually have long term follow-through on chore charts,
  • have all their scrapbooks up to date,
  • know how to say “no” and mean it,

…the list can go on and on if we let it.

Mothering is so individual and such a tender topic, none of us want to go to church and hear stories of amazing mothers and feel we can’t measure up. But the truth is there is no “perfect mother”.

However, I do believe we are all “perfectly matched up” in a way that is divinely orchestrated by God, with the little souls that come into our lives and call us mama.

I trust that as mothers we are all doing the best we can. It really helps to recognize and acknowledge our own gifts, abilities, and talents, and how those fit with the needs and gifts of our children.

This year I will be traveling on Sat, spending Mother’s Day Sunday with a friend, then attending a coaching/collaboration retreat for a few days. So, I was feeling a little bad about not being home for Mother’s Day- then this idea floated in:

“Write each of your kids a sweet note telling them how much you adore them and love being their mother!”

Wow, just that thought makes me see Mother’s Day in a different (and much better) light. Instead of making it about me, (since I am the mother, after all), I now see it as a fantastic opportunity to make my kids feel special and remind them of my unconditional love for them.

I may not do all the things on that list above, but my children are mine for a reason. I am blessed that I get to be mother to these special souls. God knows my weaknesses, my tendencies, my imperfections, and he sent me the children whose personalities can help me and teach me. And boy, do we learn a lot from being a mother. And I love every second of it!

Family Stress Test

/0 Comments/in , , , , /by

Family Stress TestStress is a natural and normal “by-product” of every family’s life. In fact, family stress can bring out the best of us: as we stretch to meet the challenges we face, we become better parents, our children blossom and our families grow. But too much stress can spiral our families in the other direction. Take this Thriving test to see how your family fares.

Set 1

1. There is a lot of bickering in our house. Someone is always angry at someone else.

2. There’s never enough time to sit down together, either to talk or to eat. There’s always too much to do.   3. My spouse and I argue a lot about how to raise the children.

4. It’s like pulling teeth to get the kids to help around the house.

5. Our family has experienced a lot of significant change recently (divorce, death, blending family, job loss, illness, other trauma).

6. Money is very tight. My partner and I have constant conflicts about how to spend it.

7. My child has been having behavioral problems at school.

8. The children get upset when they hear us arguing.

9. I work too much, and it’s really getting to me.

10. We don’t really talk about hard issues; we just try to hold our breath, wait and let them go away.

Set 2

1. We acknowledge feelings, encourage their expression and allow time for dealing with the issues these feelings raise.

2. We plan time for family activities. And we eat together at least once every day.

3. If a blended family, we maintain and nurture original parent-child relationships and let new relationships develop in their own time.

4. I feel confident in my role as parent.

5. Our family easily maintains a sense of humor and playfulness.

6. Family priorities take precedence over work.

7. I know what’s important to my kids.

8. When issues arise that we get stuck on, we ask for help from other family members, support groups, community-based programs, clergy and/or a therapist.

9. We have enough money for the important things.

10. Everyone in the family has responsibilities around the house and does them without being nagged.

If you answered true more often in the first set than in the second set, you may want to seek help lowering the stress level of your family. Families that communicate about problems, who face issues as they arise, who support one another and seek help when it is needed, can build strong bonds among themselves, nurture a healthy and loving family and have a lot more fun doing it!

***************************

Do you have a family that puts the FUN in dysfunction? Do you cringe at the thought of spending a weekend with certain family members?

Or, maybe you have a great family, but there’s been some recent ‘upsets’ that have caused some tension or awkwardness.

And yes, even if you feel like you are the only “normal” one in your family! We are the chain-breaking generation, and it’s time to release those unhealthy patterns.

Join me for our next Group Energy Clearing Session!

Author’s content used  under license, © 2008 Claire Communications

Top Ten Things to Say to Yourself

/0 Comments/in , , /by

Top Ten Things to Say to YourselfOften the things we say to ourselves we wouldn’t even think of saying to another person.

We blame, shame, call names of the meanest sort, nag, belittle and bully ourselves through self-talk.

What if, instead, we were gentler with ourselves, asked ourselves questions and listened to the responses.

What if we treated ourselves as we treat a best friend, someone we love dearly?

Here’s a Top Ten list of loving things to say to yourself:

1. What do you feel?

Asking ourselves what we feel can help put names to, and identify emotions. Listening for the response and being honest with ourselves is like taking our emotional temperature.

2. What do you need?

A need is different from a want. Whereas a want states a desire, a need is usually a statement about nurturing. Pay attention to your needs, they’re about caring for yourself.

3. Good job

Congratulate yourself on a job well done whether it’s mowing the lawn, writing a poem or cleaning the bathroom. Give yourself a verbal pat on the back.

4. I apologize

Saying “I’m sorry” for all the wrongs we have done ourselves can be the first step in healing.

5. Let’s play

Lighten up and be playful. Listen to what comes up when you suggest play.

6. Breathe

Reminding ourselves to breathe helps relieve tension, gives us that moment we sometimes need to center and ground ourselves.

7. I forgive you

Sometimes it’s easier to forgive others than to forgive ourselves. Yet, to have closure and to move on, often means we have to forgive ourselves.

8. Let go

Releasing worries, resentments, anger, fears loosens the grip of resistance and makes room for growth.

9. Be present

Staying present, being aware of the physical, acknowledging the moment, this is when we are truly alive.

10. I love you!

We say it to others, why not say it to ourselves. Say it again.

 

Author’s content used under license, © 2008 Claire Communications

 

Top 10 Actions That Say “I Love You”

/2 Comments/in , , , /by

Top 10 Actions That Say “I Love You”The saying, “Words are cheap, action speaks,” is never more true than when applied to “I love you.” Whether spoken to a romantic partner, your children or other family members, if the actions aren’t there to back up the loving words, it all means nothing. Below are 10 of the best ways to say “I love you” in your actions. But there are thousands more. Take a look at these, then grab your journal or a notepad and see how creative you can get in coming up with your own ideas. Most importantly, follow through on actually doing them.

1. Greet your loved ones with a big smile, a hug and a kiss.

2. Really listen to what your loved ones are saying; give them your undivided and undistracted attention.

3. Support each other through tough times.

4. Do simple (even random) acts of kindness, such as massaging shoulders or feet, cooking a favorite meal, running a bath.

5. Spend one-on-one time with your loved ones, with no particular agenda.

6. Commit to letting go of judgment of their faults.

7. Come home on time.

8. Be impeccable with your word. If you say you’ll do something, do it, and by the time you said you’d do it.

9. Take responsibility for your part in any conflict, and then look at how you can do better next time. Step out of the blame game.

10. Share yourself and what lives deeply inside of you. This is a precious gift and conveys trust and security.

Author’s content used under license, © 2008 Claire Communications

Got Clarity?

/0 Comments/in , , /by

Got Clarity?Got Clarity? Replenish with your own mini-retreat!

One of my husband’s very favorite things to do is lie on a beach with no schedule to have to conform to (isn’t that everyone’s?). This isn’t always feasible, since we have busy schedules and live in the desert of southern Utah. So last week I took him to Jamaica for his birthday, and for six days, that’s what we did- enjoyed the beautiful Caribbean water and weather with no phones, computers, or agendas to stick to. Ahh…it was heaven!

It got me thinking…why don’t I add little mini-retreats like this into my life on a more regular basis?  Well, I mean without the amazingly clean smell of the ocean air, the sand between my toes, and meal prep all taken care of for me.

But I can still derive some of the benefit of big get-aways like this by finding ways in my everyday life to retreat and renew. Here is my list I came up with of things I can do to replenish my soul when my cup is nearing empty-or hopefully before! As you read through it notice ways that you can create a retreat yourself, without spending a ton of time or money, and without even leaving your own home if you don’t want to.

1. Visit a local art museum. Are you familiar with all the local talent in your area? I know I’m not, and would like to be. I’ve definitely calendared this for next month.

2. Take your camera and a notebook and go explore a part of your city that you have never really explored (as long as it’s safe). Take pictures, and journal about what you’ve discovered. Doesn’t this sound fun? I’m SO doing this!

3. Go to an afternoon matinee –all by yourself!

4. Spend a day in the garden, or the container pots, or community garden, or any other way to get your hands in the earth

5. Re-connect with an old friend over lunch –Who is the first person that came to your mind? Call him or her.

6. Go for a hike. Even an hour or two of one-on-one time with Mother Nature can reap huge relaxation rewards.

7. Plan a day off just to read! I tend to have several books partially read in different rooms throughout my house. Hmm..imagine taking a day to finish all those up and start new ones!

8. Do a media fast for a few days or even a week. Turn off all input—TV, radio, stereo, newspaper, internet, and see what amazing insights are there in the peacefulness for you.

9. Get a massage –it’s especially great if you know a massage therapist who does house calls. Be sure to follow that with down-time.

10. Take a long bath – add some candlelight, bath salts or essential oils, and relaxing music.

11. Spend a day doing what you love, not what you feel obligated to do. Give yourself permission to put your to-do list away for a day and enjoy yourself with no pressure to get something done! Don’t worry, you’ll probably get twice as much done the following day.

12. Take a class:  self-defense, cooking, dance, zumba, yoga, tai chi. Try something new you’ve always wanted to do.

I hope these suggestions spurred some ideas for you, and that you will follow through on giving yourself a mini-retreat often. Remember that when you take ‘retreat time’ it is a gift to yourself and to those around you. We bring our best selves to the world when we are replenished, refreshed and relaxed!  After all, it’s the pauses between the notes that make the melody beautiful.

Ready to Start Your Own Healing Practice?

/3 Comments/in , /by

Ready to Start Your Own Healing Practice?If you’re ready to start your very own healing practice, this is the place to begin. Energy Healing Jumpstart is a 5-module online course for those who’ve had no training, or for those who may have a lot of training, and simply want to get more in touch with their gifts and more grounded in the field of energy work. Read more

Your Energy Speaks Louder Than Your Words

/0 Comments/in , /by

Your Energy Speaks Louder Than Your WordsAre you as confident in all areas of work and life as you would like to be? Confidence is an energy or vibration that others can sense, sometimes before you even open your mouth.  Wherever you are on your journey, you have the power to improve your life by letting go of negative beliefs and self doubts on the inside, thereby changing the signal you emit on the outside. Read more

Do Affirmations Really Work?

/3 Comments/in , /by

Do Affirmations Really Work?How do you feel right now? Do you feel good? Do you feel bad? What are your current emotions? What is your gut feeling? Would you like to feel better? Then reach for a better feeling or thought. Read more

The Law of Attraction, Part I

/1 Comment/in , /by

The Law of Attraction, Part IThere is a jingle I learned as a young girl that says, “The law of the harvest is simple you know, whatever you reap is just what you sow.” As I have grown I realize this means all the sowing we do begins with a thought. Every thought we sow has a vibrational frequency to it and is magnetic. Since like attracts like, we are bringing to us those things with the same vibrational frequency as the thoughts we sow. When I sow negative thoughts, I reap negative rewards. Likewise, when I sow positive thoughts, positive things show up in my life. Read more