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How to Create A Balanced Relationship

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How to Create A Balanced RelationshipWhether they are married, in a relationship or single – most people would say they want to have a balanced relationship with their significant other.  But what does a balanced relationship look like and how do you maintain it?

The fact is, we all relate to people in different ways: Dependently (or codependently), Independently and Interdependently.

Dependent/codependent:
In these relationships one person sets aside his or her personal welfare to maintain the relationship. This dynamic implies that the codependent person in the relationship can’t survive independently of the other person.

Independent:
In this configuration, the couple lives mostly separate lives. For example, they have different friends, are rarely together and make decisions autonomously. They may live separately as well and they are fine with that arrangement.

Interdependent:
In this type of relationship, two people are intimate with one another but don’t compromise or sacrifice themselves or their values. This dynamic is about collaboration and cooperation. Each person is self-reliant (physically, emotionally, financially, etc.) and, simultaneously, responsible to the other.

While it’s possible to find happiness, at least temporarily, in all three types of relationships, the Interdependent relationship is generally considered the model for a balanced relationship.

What do you do if you don’t consider your relationship to be balanced? With a little information and effort it’s possible to attain a balanced relationship.

1. Find Inner Balance by:
• Focusing on what you can control (your thoughts, feelings and actions) not what you can’t (others’ thoughts, feelings and actions).
• Noticing how you feel and, as clearly and calmly as you can, communicating those feelings.
• Recognizing and owning your issues, which will help you recognize your partner’s as well. You can be empathic and supportive without having to “fix” everything.

2. Create and Maintain a Balanced Relationship by:
• Staying present and empathic even when your partner is upset.
• Stepping back from conflicts to avoid escalation, assess the problem and make positive changes.
• Reframing the actions/reactions of your partner. For example, seeing a loved one as anxious and fearful, instead of cruel and controlling, paves the way for a more sympathetic, less confrontational approach.
• Being a good listener and focusing on the only person you can change—yourself.

3. Recognize and change old emotional patterns and blocked energetic pathways by:
• Writing down negative feelings that manifest themselves throughout your day. Then rewrite them in a positive light.
• Become aware of “triggers” that influence your mood. Many times just the awareness will lead to your ability to not be influenced by them – putting you in control.
• Write down up to 10 positive affirmations you would like to see manifested in your relationship and post them where you will see and read them often (ie. Bathroom mirror, near your computer screen, etc.)

Keep in mind that balance, like a relationship, is dynamic not static. It’s impossible to keep balance 100% of the time in every situation. Even a balanced relationship can, at times, feel like more work than play.

Remember, sometimes the focus will be more on you, other times more on your partner, and still other times when what’s best for “us” needs the focus rather than either individual.

Like a wave, there is an ebb and flow to relationships. But once we are aware of what balanced relationships look like we can better manage that dynamic.

Would you like to pull out those threads of negative emotional patterns and release blocked energy to allow your Spirit to be more open to and/or attract the relationship you desire?

This month I am having a group phone session focusing on Romantic Relationships. For those of you in a relationship this call will be focused on your relationship with your partner. If you are single we will also be releasing issues blocking you from attracting your ideal mate. So really, this call is for everyone!

Here’s what we’ll be working on:
• Releasing negative dependent/co-dependent/independent false beliefs.
• Shifting thought patterns to accept and attract an interdependent relationship.
• Instilling positive affirmations to support your raised energetic attractiveness for the relationship you desire.

To learn more about group phone sessions and to sign-up, go here.

Author’s content used under license, © 2011 Claire Communications

Thoughts Under the Stars

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Thoughts Under the StarsLast week I had the opportunity to be out in nature, sleeping under the stars. Now, I’m not a big fan of camping (the dirt, the cold nights, the out-house, lying on hard, bumpy ground, etc.), however, I do love sleeping under the stars and admiring their brilliance, majesty, and beauty. There were SO many stars in the sky last week! And I even saw several shooting stars, which always puts a big smile on my face even if I’m the only one still awake to see them.

Something about sleeping under all those stars in God’s great big sky that really brings life into perspective for me. I always think of the millions of others around the globe who are looking up at the same stars as I am, as well as people throughout history who have lived, camped, traveled, warred, and loved under this same beautiful canopy of stars -cue the song, “Somewhere Out There” from the kid’s movie “An American Tail” (yes, that’s the way they spell ‘tale’).

Somehow realizing how small I am in this huge galaxy inspires me to live bigger, live better. Here in the US it is summer, and I recognize I have many readers from other countries, where it may be a different season for you right now, but no matter the weather, have you taken the opportunity recently to really look up and connect to this beautiful Universe? I don’t do that often enough, but when I take the time to be still, look up and just listen for the inspiration that is waiting to talk to me I sense and feel juicy nuggets of knowledge that help me on my journey through life.

How about you? When was the last time you relaxed under a beautiful star-filled sky? How did that inspire you? When can you arrange to do that again? Ask yourself these questions, and/or feel free to add your comments to the blog by clicking below.

Now I am on my way to find my air mattress in my storage closet so I can set it up on my deck tonight, gaze up at the stars once again~ I am open to receiving all the inspiration I can get!

Muscle Testing

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Muscle TestingMuscle testing is a great little tool that provides information on energy blockages, the functioning of the organs, nutritional deficiencies, and food sensitivities, among other things. It can also be used to test the body’s responses to herbs, essential oils, and other remedies. It is a non-invasive way of evaluating the body’s imbalances and assessing its needs. The body’s responses will either test strong or weak when applying slight pressure to any muscle.

I’ve taught classes on muscle testing for many years, and have noticed one thing that people really seem to struggle with.

I often get asked, “If you’re testing supplements it will always give you an answer either yes or no, and that will be a ‘Universal truth’”.

But when you’re testing for emotional issues it may test strong for someone on a negative belief they have about themselves but that is not a “Universal truth”, it is just a false-belief they have about themselves. It is just their own truth they have come to believe.”

So why does muscle-testing give the truth on
remedies, and not the ‘real’ truth for
negative misperceptions about ourselves?

Why does it work one way with remedies & supplements,
etc, and in a different way with emotions?

I can understand the confusion about this IF you are assuming that a strong response always means true and that a weak response always means false.

Think of it more in the sense of how does that resonate with what my patterns and beliefs are. Because what we are actually testing is:

Does this resonate with my body?
Does this resonate with my emotions?
Does this resonate with what my belief about this issue is?

Whenever you say or think something that resonates as true with your subconscious mind, the electrical and magnetic fields around your body actually become stronger therefore strengthening the muscle.

Similarly, when you say or think something that resonates as false with your subconscious mind, the electrical and magnetic fields around your body actually become weaker, so the muscle will test weak.

Let’s take this example of a woman who is a good mother, but is struggling in that area right now. If I test this statement on her:

“I am a good mother” and it goes weak, it is not saying that that statement is false and the truth is that she really is not a good mother – that is not a “Universal truth” It is simply showing that she has some doubts about her mothering at that time (or some stored ones) in her subconscious or conscious mind that are weakening the electrical and magnetic fields. The worry and doubt she has about it are what is making it weak.
The fact that it is not a “Universal truth” does not mean that the muscle testing is working in a different way than if we were simply testing for a supplement.
Again, we are seeing how strong or weak the energy is, not if something is true or false.

muscle test coverI hope that clears that up! Feel free to add your comments below and let me know…

If you need more clarity or want to WATCH and learn how muscle testing is done, I recommend my DVD, The Art of Muscle Testing available here. That way you can watch it as many times as you need to, practice, practice, practice and you’ll be a pro muscle tester in no time!

Family Stress Test

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Family Stress TestStress is a natural and normal “by-product” of every family’s life. In fact, family stress can bring out the best of us: as we stretch to meet the challenges we face, we become better parents, our children blossom and our families grow. But too much stress can spiral our families in the other direction. Take this Thriving test to see how your family fares.

Set 1

1. There is a lot of bickering in our house. Someone is always angry at someone else.

2. There’s never enough time to sit down together, either to talk or to eat. There’s always too much to do.   3. My spouse and I argue a lot about how to raise the children.

4. It’s like pulling teeth to get the kids to help around the house.

5. Our family has experienced a lot of significant change recently (divorce, death, blending family, job loss, illness, other trauma).

6. Money is very tight. My partner and I have constant conflicts about how to spend it.

7. My child has been having behavioral problems at school.

8. The children get upset when they hear us arguing.

9. I work too much, and it’s really getting to me.

10. We don’t really talk about hard issues; we just try to hold our breath, wait and let them go away.

Set 2

1. We acknowledge feelings, encourage their expression and allow time for dealing with the issues these feelings raise.

2. We plan time for family activities. And we eat together at least once every day.

3. If a blended family, we maintain and nurture original parent-child relationships and let new relationships develop in their own time.

4. I feel confident in my role as parent.

5. Our family easily maintains a sense of humor and playfulness.

6. Family priorities take precedence over work.

7. I know what’s important to my kids.

8. When issues arise that we get stuck on, we ask for help from other family members, support groups, community-based programs, clergy and/or a therapist.

9. We have enough money for the important things.

10. Everyone in the family has responsibilities around the house and does them without being nagged.

If you answered true more often in the first set than in the second set, you may want to seek help lowering the stress level of your family. Families that communicate about problems, who face issues as they arise, who support one another and seek help when it is needed, can build strong bonds among themselves, nurture a healthy and loving family and have a lot more fun doing it!

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Do you have a family that puts the FUN in dysfunction? Do you cringe at the thought of spending a weekend with certain family members?

Or, maybe you have a great family, but there’s been some recent ‘upsets’ that have caused some tension or awkwardness.

And yes, even if you feel like you are the only “normal” one in your family! We are the chain-breaking generation, and it’s time to release those unhealthy patterns.

Join me for our next Group Energy Clearing Session!

Author’s content used  under license, © 2008 Claire Communications

9 Signs You Could Use an Energy Detox

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9 Signs You Could Use an Energy DetoxDo you ever wake up feeling exhausted, or do you feel sluggish in the afternoon? Do you look at young children and wonder where their boundless energy comes from? At 43, I knew that something needed to shift. I worked out; I ate healthy food, compared to the standard American diet. But I still felt tired. I returned to juicing and raw foods. In days, I was brimming with energy again, feeling like a 20 year younger, new and improved version of me.

Detox diets cleanse the body to restore balance. Periodic fasting is a spiritual principle, abstaining from food and drink to give the digestive system a rest. A detox diet can include drinking only purified water with squeezed lemon, green juices, and/or consuming mostly raw vegetables, fruits, and nuts. We live in an increasingly toxic world with daily exposure to chemicals, additives, harmful sugars, and pharmaceutical drugs. Our bodies can no longer function with a child’s vibrancy. We get bogged down from the toxins in our physical systems.

Similarly, our energy systems get bogged down from the mental and emotional clutter that is stored in our bodies’ cellular memory. Just as a detox diet cleans out the toxins in our bodies, an energy detox through energy work can release the toxic energetic clutter in our 7 energy systems. We accumulate mental and emotional debris through the daily experience of living.

Here are 9 signs that suggest you might benefit from an energy detox:

1) Do you have an idea or inner desire about what to do next, but your excuses overpower your will to move forward?

2) Do your emotional responses (including anger and tears) seem easily triggered?

3) Do you ever find yourself in an emotionally charged conflict with a partner or loved one that seems much larger than what the actual disagreement warrants?

4) Does your mind chatter disturb your daily measure of peace?

5) Is your relationship with a spouse or loved one clouded by the disappointments and/or resentments of the past?

6) Do your creative urges feel blocked?

7) Do you taste fear about taking the next step?

8) Do you feel cut off from trusting your intuition or receiving intuitive knowledge?

9) Do you feel disconnected from the Awesome version of yourself?

If you answered yes to any of the above questions above, consider de-cluttering from what is no longer serving you. Life is a process of learning and growth, and awareness is 50 percent of the solution to shifting one’s energy. But if you cannot clear your energy on your own, find a Simply HealedTM practitioner to assist you with cleansing from the emotional clutter. Yes, we will encounter life challenges, but it is easier to navigate without carrying around excess energetic baggage.

 

Dr. Tera Maxwell www.teramaxwell.com

About the Author
Tera Maxwell, Ph.D., Energy Coach and Simply Healed™ Practitioner, specializes in helping mama entrepreneurs release personal and money blocks, often stemming from generational and childhood memories, so they can soar in business and life. Her doctoral work on generational trauma among Filipino Americans prepared her for energy work, where she continues to share her message: We can change. Our generational and childhood baggage need not define us.  www.teramaxwell.com

Generational Healing

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Here’s a fun video I did with my friend, Marnie Pehrson, about Generational Healing.

Animals and Healing

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Animals and HealingI’ve had many people ask me if Healing works on animals. Of course it does! Animals are very easy to work on, because their spirits are so open. A friend of mine often works on horses; I work on my cats, and have also had excellent results with several of my clients’ dogs. Read more

Healing Refresher Course Praise

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Healing Refresher Course Praise

I recently conducted a Healing Refresher Course, and it was a great success and blessing to everyone involved – especially me. I offered the course because so many alumni had requested to retake the training, get recertified or move on to the Master’s Level. I’d like to share what some of the participants had to say after completing the three-day refresher.

“I want to thank you for . It has changed my life, my family and the more than thirty-five clients I’ve officially been able to serve the last few weeks.

My youngest daughter wrote, produced, directed and acted in the opening and closing monologue of her first play. I was able to work on at least a dozen of the amazing young people working on that venture. They were so receptive, and the changes were palpable and have held. made a huge difference.

I have several adopted children as clients, close to my heart since I’m also a birth mom. Many of these children come from Russia and the Ukraine. What changes have occurred in their young lives after such difficult beginnings! I’ve worked on dogs, homes and businesses as well. Such big fun!!!

My family has noticed how much more relaxed and softer I’ve been since clearing some of my own major timeline issues when I was five. I felt it almost immediately. This has enabled me to be so much more effective with my family and clients and so much happier in my personal life.”

“So much has happened since the Refresher Class. I get the muscle testing now, and I am loosening up a lot. The whole system has really opened up for me. It is becoming a natural process for me now and I can feel the energy flow. I’ve been able to clear a lot of things for my oldest daughter’s adoptive family.”

“Thanks for a GREAT 3-day Masters Retreat. While it was technically a refresher, I felt like it was more of a retreat — learned a lot, cleared a lot, and I feel great!”

“I know I spoke to you for a few minutes the other day, but I feel impressed again to say how impactful the refresher course was for me. I had some substantial opposition in getting there at first, but once the blocks were removed, the universe just put it in place for me. Though I had good information before, the class really helped me pull it together to the point that I really feel like I can, in real and practical ways, help myself and others through this wonderful work.”

“These last few days in training have been outstanding. It was exactly what I needed — to be able to closely associate with like-minded people. I feel more educated, more encouraged, and more confident.”

“FANTASTIC learning experience! Loved being with you again. 😮 Thank you for all your hard work AND your astute intuition!! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU… (never seems enough, but gotta say it).”

I am humbled by and appreciative of the praise from these wonderful women!

Bounce back from surgery with the SimplyHealed Method

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Bounce back from surgery with the SimplyHealed MethodI’ve been asked many times whether SimplyHealed can help people bounce back from minor or even major surgery. People often complain of low energy levels and fatigue that last months following routine procedures. They wonder if they’ll ever feel good again. The answer, of course, is yes! Read more