Special Mother’s Day Gift
Call me a party-pooper, but I’ve never really loved Mother’s Day. Oh, I’ve had some good ones over the years, also some not-so-great ones, but all in all, let’s just say it is not my favorite holiday.
Don’t get me wrong, I like being able to honor my own mother, and give her the thanks she deserves, but since she lives in a different city I don’t usually spend the day with her.
I’ve had this conversation with other moms over the years, so I know I am not alone. I think the thing is, it is a day specifically set aside where we feel (or we choose to feel) “judged” on our mothering skills. And as much as I try not to, if I’m really honest, I do find myself comparing myself to moms who seem to have it all together. I’m talking about moms who…
- always speak in quiet tones to their children,
- have dinner on the table every night,
- are on the booster club of every sport their child participates in,
- volunteer constantly at their children’s schools,
- understand the ‘new math’ and how to explain it to their kids,
- never miss reading with them at bedtime
- have a healthy breakfast AND after school snack every day,
- know how to make a delicious apple pie,
- bake their own bread (including grinding their own wheat)
- have an immaculate home,
- are always caught up on laundry,
- know the exact right words to say to get their kids to practice piano or other musical instruments every day,
- actually have long term follow-through on chore charts,
- have all their scrapbooks up to date,
- know how to say “no” and mean it,
…the list can go on and on if we let it.
Mothering is so individual and such a tender topic, none of us want to go to church and hear stories of amazing mothers and feel we can’t measure up. But the truth is there is no “perfect mother”.
However, I do believe we are all “perfectly matched up” in a way that is divinely orchestrated by God, with the little souls that come into our lives and call us mama.
I trust that as mothers we are all doing the best we can. It really helps to recognize and acknowledge our own gifts, abilities, and talents, and how those fit with the needs and gifts of our children.
This year I will be traveling on Sat, spending Mother’s Day Sunday with a friend, then attending a coaching/collaboration retreat for a few days. So, I was feeling a little bad about not being home for Mother’s Day- then this idea floated in:
“Write each of your kids a sweet note telling them how much you adore them and love being their mother!”
Wow, just that thought makes me see Mother’s Day in a different (and much better) light. Instead of making it about me, (since I am the mother, after all), I now see it as a fantastic opportunity to make my kids feel special and remind them of my unconditional love for them.
I may not do all the things on that list above, but my children are mine for a reason. I am blessed that I get to be mother to these special souls. God knows my weaknesses, my tendencies, my imperfections, and he sent me the children whose personalities can help me and teach me. And boy, do we learn a lot from being a mother. And I love every second of it!
Lol. I had the same impression! I have two lovely daughers-in-law who celebrated their very first “official” mother’s day this year, and 3 awesome sons, and I feel so blessed at all the good things my kids are doing. I wrote them each a letter expressing my gratitude to them. Funny thing–even before they received their letters I recieved lovely gifts from each of them–all the clearing must have lined up that energy just right for this year!!
Hi Carolyn,
Loved your blog. It really is a better way to look at Mother’s Day. I know that God gave me the “right” kids for me because there has been a lot of give and take in exchanges of ideas over the years. I’m also finding out how great it is to be a grandmother to my 2 grandsons too! If you’re not there yet, you’re going to love that phase as well. God is good and His blessings lack the words to describe them.
Blessings,
Lori
I get discouraged/depressed before mother’s day, too, for all the reasons mentioned above and then some. I wrote a little blurb on facebook to my kids/mother’s etc. I was feeling so much better until the end of the evening when a kid reminded me that I never “taught them that while they were little” (even though he’s a mere 14). Sigh. Good thing for things like simply healed to clear the energy and help us mother’s out! =) And I love the line– “we were matched up perfectly.” I appreciate that! Hugs!
………….Mothers Day is great……….
I’m not the perfect mother or a domestic goddess
but what child grows up thinking their mum wasn’t perfect or the house was dusty…they grow up thinking she never had time to play with me. So stuff the cleaning.
Live is too short to think we need to read to our children every day or give them a bath every night. Domestication and routines are boring. Hey we all need them but we need to think outside the square. Dream big. I use Mothers Day to remember all the wonderful mothers who walked this path before us. Each mother teaches their child from their own experiences and improves on it……remember all mothers…….and the ones who have passed away….let them celebrate and fly!!!
I loved Mother’s Day this year because in the last several months I’ve focussed on what God wants of me as a mother. You know what? The list was really short. 🙂 Thanks for this post. I loved it.
I wanted to thank you for this excellent read!
! I definitely loved every bit of it. I have got you
saved as a favorite to check out new stuff you post…
Hi Karri, sorry for my slow reply, somehow i missed this one. But thanks for your sweet compliment 🙂