Family Stress Test

Family Stress TestStress is a natural and normal “by-product” of every family’s life. In fact, family stress can bring out the best of us: as we stretch to meet the challenges we face, we become better parents, our children blossom and our families grow. But too much stress can spiral our families in the other direction. Take this Thriving test to see how your family fares.

Set 1

1. There is a lot of bickering in our house. Someone is always angry at someone else.

2. There’s never enough time to sit down together, either to talk or to eat. There’s always too much to do.   3. My spouse and I argue a lot about how to raise the children.

4. It’s like pulling teeth to get the kids to help around the house.

5. Our family has experienced a lot of significant change recently (divorce, death, blending family, job loss, illness, other trauma).

6. Money is very tight. My partner and I have constant conflicts about how to spend it.

7. My child has been having behavioral problems at school.

8. The children get upset when they hear us arguing.

9. I work too much, and it’s really getting to me.

10. We don’t really talk about hard issues; we just try to hold our breath, wait and let them go away.

Set 2

1. We acknowledge feelings, encourage their expression and allow time for dealing with the issues these feelings raise.

2. We plan time for family activities. And we eat together at least once every day.

3. If a blended family, we maintain and nurture original parent-child relationships and let new relationships develop in their own time.

4. I feel confident in my role as parent.

5. Our family easily maintains a sense of humor and playfulness.

6. Family priorities take precedence over work.

7. I know what’s important to my kids.

8. When issues arise that we get stuck on, we ask for help from other family members, support groups, community-based programs, clergy and/or a therapist.

9. We have enough money for the important things.

10. Everyone in the family has responsibilities around the house and does them without being nagged.

If you answered true more often in the first set than in the second set, you may want to seek help lowering the stress level of your family. Families that communicate about problems, who face issues as they arise, who support one another and seek help when it is needed, can build strong bonds among themselves, nurture a healthy and loving family and have a lot more fun doing it!

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Do you have a family that puts the FUN in dysfunction? Do you cringe at the thought of spending a weekend with certain family members?

Or, maybe you have a great family, but there’s been some recent ‘upsets’ that have caused some tension or awkwardness.

And yes, even if you feel like you are the only “normal” one in your family! We are the chain-breaking generation, and it’s time to release those unhealthy patterns.

Join me for our next Group Energy Clearing Session!

Author’s content used  under license, © 2008 Claire Communications

April Is National Poetry Month

April Is National Poetry Month“Inaugurated by the Academy of American Poets in 1996, National Poetry Month is now held every April, when schools, publishers, libraries, booksellers, and poets throughout the United States band together to celebrate poetry and its vital place in American culture. Thousands of organizations participate through readings, festivals, book displays, workshops, and other events.” ~ The Academy of American Poets

One of my favorite poems:

You have brains in your head.

You have feet in your shoes

You can steer yourself any direction you choose.

You’re on your own. And you know what you know.

And YOU are the guy who’ll decide where to go.

~Dr. Suess

Have a favorite poem or poet? Share with us below!

 

Top Ten Things to Say to Yourself

Top Ten Things to Say to YourselfOften the things we say to ourselves we wouldn’t even think of saying to another person.

We blame, shame, call names of the meanest sort, nag, belittle and bully ourselves through self-talk.

What if, instead, we were gentler with ourselves, asked ourselves questions and listened to the responses.

What if we treated ourselves as we treat a best friend, someone we love dearly?

Here’s a Top Ten list of loving things to say to yourself:

1. What do you feel?

Asking ourselves what we feel can help put names to, and identify emotions. Listening for the response and being honest with ourselves is like taking our emotional temperature.

2. What do you need?

A need is different from a want. Whereas a want states a desire, a need is usually a statement about nurturing. Pay attention to your needs, they’re about caring for yourself.

3. Good job

Congratulate yourself on a job well done whether it’s mowing the lawn, writing a poem or cleaning the bathroom. Give yourself a verbal pat on the back.

4. I apologize

Saying “I’m sorry” for all the wrongs we have done ourselves can be the first step in healing.

5. Let’s play

Lighten up and be playful. Listen to what comes up when you suggest play.

6. Breathe

Reminding ourselves to breathe helps relieve tension, gives us that moment we sometimes need to center and ground ourselves.

7. I forgive you

Sometimes it’s easier to forgive others than to forgive ourselves. Yet, to have closure and to move on, often means we have to forgive ourselves.

8. Let go

Releasing worries, resentments, anger, fears loosens the grip of resistance and makes room for growth.

9. Be present

Staying present, being aware of the physical, acknowledging the moment, this is when we are truly alive.

10. I love you!

We say it to others, why not say it to ourselves. Say it again.

 

Author’s content used under license, © 2008 Claire Communications

 

Top 10 Actions That Say “I Love You”

Top 10 Actions That Say “I Love You”The saying, “Words are cheap, action speaks,” is never more true than when applied to “I love you.” Whether spoken to a romantic partner, your children or other family members, if the actions aren’t there to back up the loving words, it all means nothing. Below are 10 of the best ways to say “I love you” in your actions. But there are thousands more. Take a look at these, then grab your journal or a notepad and see how creative you can get in coming up with your own ideas. Most importantly, follow through on actually doing them.

1. Greet your loved ones with a big smile, a hug and a kiss.

2. Really listen to what your loved ones are saying; give them your undivided and undistracted attention.

3. Support each other through tough times.

4. Do simple (even random) acts of kindness, such as massaging shoulders or feet, cooking a favorite meal, running a bath.

5. Spend one-on-one time with your loved ones, with no particular agenda.

6. Commit to letting go of judgment of their faults.

7. Come home on time.

8. Be impeccable with your word. If you say you’ll do something, do it, and by the time you said you’d do it.

9. Take responsibility for your part in any conflict, and then look at how you can do better next time. Step out of the blame game.

10. Share yourself and what lives deeply inside of you. This is a precious gift and conveys trust and security.

Author’s content used under license, © 2008 Claire Communications

How is marketing online working for you?

If you’re trying to build a business, you’re probably scrambling to
navigate the world of online marketing.

Well, I have a bit of news regarding that world. My friend,
Marnie Pehrson, the creator of the longest running article
directory (IdeaMarketers) just closed the doors on her site
and completely reinvented it under a new model (IgnitePoint.com)
Why? Because she says article marketing just isn’t working the
way it used to. In fact, if done improperly, it can be
detrimental to you.
WOW, that’s quite a shift in the online marketing world!
It just goes to show that you have to be constantly on
your toes when doing business online.

You’ve probably felt some of the frustration with
marketing your services online. This is why Marnie is
putting together a panel of successful entrepreneurs to
share what’s working and what’s not in the ever-shifting
online marketplace. She’s invited me to participate
on this panel and share what works for me in my business.

If you’re trying to find new clients online, you definitely
want to attend this call coming up Wednesday,
December 12, 2012. It will be recorded. So even if you’re
busy and can’t attend live, be sure to register for the audio.

To receive this timely information, go to

http://www.1shoppingcart.com/app/?af=1453646

See you there!

Tips For Stress Free Holidays

Tips For Stress Free HolidaysAh! The holidays! As a child there is nothing like the anticipation of all the joy that the holidays bring but as we grow older, it seems as though we take on some stresses that we would rather not have. Here are some tips that can help relieve the stress and tension:

Take Care of Yourself
Get regular exercise; take it easy on the caffeine, sugar and alcohol; get enough sleep; eat healthy food — all the things that are good for our well-being -you know this stuff.

Take a mini-break to get grounded
Visualize your feet being connected to the earth, those connections going through carpet, cement, etc. and down into the earth.  Also the healing energy of the earth coming back up through your feet to the top of your head and beyond connecting you to the heavens, keeping you strong and balanced.  This can be done anywhere, even standing in a line!

Let go of expectations
That things need to be a certain way
That people around you need to behave a certain way
That you need to do a lot of extra things (decorating, cards, etc) because “that’s what we’ve always done”

Delegate
It’s ok to ask for help. It’s a necessary thing, and it helps others to feel needed and wanted.

Appreciate the person next to you
Where ever you may be during the holidays -step outside your own thoughts to notice who is next to you (in a store, in your home, in your neighborhood) and say or do something kind for them. It will raise their energy and yours!

Start a new tradition
Today’s modern families may have different dynamics than those a generation or two ago. You can begin something fun and new!  My husband cooks great Chinese food.  A few Christmases ago that’s what the kids wanted for Christmas dinner, so that has now become our tradition.  Well, that certainly works for me -yum!

Zip Up
With one had trace a line a few inches out from the body, from your root to your bottom lip. This energetically “zips” you up so you can avoid taking on stressful energy around you. To go along with this, visualize a bubble of light around you.

Accupressure Point to reduce anxiety and bring on the calm
On the top of your foot, find the spot in between the big toe and your second toe.  Come toward the leg about two fingers width (about an inch or so).  Rub with your thumb and breathe through it.  This calms anxiety.  Also, if you have a headache rubbing on the front side and the bottom of the foot (same location, just on the flip-side)  at the same time can help take away some of the pressure.

“Keep it light
Don’t overdue it.  Give yourself permission to say NO to unnecessary extras.Listen and follow your inner guidance, don’t let yourself be pressured by other people’s expectations. Remember, it’s ok to have your healthy boundaries!

I hope that these tips can give you some new ideas and some renewed energy to enjoy the holidays with those you choose to spend the time with.

How Well Do You Navigate the Holidays?

How Well Do You Navigate the Holidays?Take a big, deep, beautiful breath: the holidays will be here before you know it. For many of us, this time of year brings with it the joys—and challenges—of family gatherings, gift exchanges, and holiday festivities. The good news is that with a little planning and thoughtfulness, you can navigate the holidays with grace.Take this self-quiz to see how ready you are for this year’s holiday season.

True or False?

1. I start planning for the holidays early so that I’m not on overdrive throughout December.

2. When my family is making plans, I make a point of negotiating what I really want to do and where I’d like to spend each holiday.

3. If my family exchanges gifts, I joyfully give what I can afford and enjoy giving. I stick to my budget.

4. I make sure that I eat healthy food that I enjoy every day. This may require me to take care of my own meals or contribute to meal planning and preparation.

5. When I accept a party invitation or a request for my time, it’s because I genuinely want to—and have the energy to participate wholeheartedly. I know how to say “no” to invitations I don’t want to accept. I don’t beat myself up about it or let myself get “roped in.”

6. I recognize the need for downtime and breaks, so I don’t fill my schedule to the brim with events, shopping and other holiday preparations.

7. I value my important relationships and give them the time and energy they need and deserve. If this means that I go to fewer gatherings outside of my immediate circle, so be it.

8. I don’t dwell on the changes in my family that make me unhappy or sad. I accept the way things are now, and enjoy the loved ones around me.

9. In the lead-up to the holidays and during the holidays themselves, I do something that I find fun or pleasurable every day.

10. The holidays are a time to appreciate loved ones and express my spirituality. I make a point of noticing what’s good in my life, and feel gratitude for those things.

If you answered false to more than four of these, you may want to consider ways to make this holiday season more enjoyable and less stressful.

Author’s content used under license, © Claire Communications

To learn of ways to help release some stress, check out the post Stress Free Holiday Tips.

9 Signs You Could Use an Energy Detox

9 Signs You Could Use an Energy DetoxDo you ever wake up feeling exhausted, or do you feel sluggish in the afternoon? Do you look at young children and wonder where their boundless energy comes from? At 43, I knew that something needed to shift. I worked out; I ate healthy food, compared to the standard American diet. But I still felt tired. I returned to juicing and raw foods. In days, I was brimming with energy again, feeling like a 20 year younger, new and improved version of me.

Detox diets cleanse the body to restore balance. Periodic fasting is a spiritual principle, abstaining from food and drink to give the digestive system a rest. A detox diet can include drinking only purified water with squeezed lemon, green juices, and/or consuming mostly raw vegetables, fruits, and nuts. We live in an increasingly toxic world with daily exposure to chemicals, additives, harmful sugars, and pharmaceutical drugs. Our bodies can no longer function with a child’s vibrancy. We get bogged down from the toxins in our physical systems.

Similarly, our energy systems get bogged down from the mental and emotional clutter that is stored in our bodies’ cellular memory. Just as a detox diet cleans out the toxins in our bodies, an energy detox through energy work can release the toxic energetic clutter in our 7 energy systems. We accumulate mental and emotional debris through the daily experience of living.

Here are 9 signs that suggest you might benefit from an energy detox:

1) Do you have an idea or inner desire about what to do next, but your excuses overpower your will to move forward?

2) Do your emotional responses (including anger and tears) seem easily triggered?

3) Do you ever find yourself in an emotionally charged conflict with a partner or loved one that seems much larger than what the actual disagreement warrants?

4) Does your mind chatter disturb your daily measure of peace?

5) Is your relationship with a spouse or loved one clouded by the disappointments and/or resentments of the past?

6) Do your creative urges feel blocked?

7) Do you taste fear about taking the next step?

8) Do you feel cut off from trusting your intuition or receiving intuitive knowledge?

9) Do you feel disconnected from the Awesome version of yourself?

If you answered yes to any of the above questions above, consider de-cluttering from what is no longer serving you. Life is a process of learning and growth, and awareness is 50 percent of the solution to shifting one’s energy. But if you cannot clear your energy on your own, find a Simply HealedTM practitioner to assist you with cleansing from the emotional clutter. Yes, we will encounter life challenges, but it is easier to navigate without carrying around excess energetic baggage.

 

Dr. Tera Maxwell www.teramaxwell.com

About the Author
Tera Maxwell, Ph.D., Energy Coach and Simply Healed™ Practitioner, specializes in helping mama entrepreneurs release personal and money blocks, often stemming from generational and childhood memories, so they can soar in business and life. Her doctoral work on generational trauma among Filipino Americans prepared her for energy work, where she continues to share her message: We can change. Our generational and childhood baggage need not define us.  www.teramaxwell.com

Generational Healing

Here’s a fun video I did with my friend, Marnie Pehrson, about Generational Healing.