Have you ever caught yourself not saying what you really think, maybe because it felt too uncomfortable? Or found yourself hinting at what you mean, but not really being direct, and it just ends up causing confusion? It’s something we’ve all faced at some point. Let’s explore how we can move past that and communicate with confidence.

How often do you find yourself holding back your true thoughts or feelings out of fear or discomfort?

Or maybe expressing yourself in an indirect or passive-aggressive way that creates more tension than clarity?

Many people struggle with communicating assertively in certain situations. Stating our needs, opinions and boundaries directly yet respectfully, may not be something we were taught growing up.

The good news is that just like any skill, assertive communication can be developed through intentional practice. Here are three ways you can get started:

1) A powerful lesson about communication comes from a friend whose family runs a global business empire. He shared that his father’s success was based on four simple words: “What do you think?” His dad made a practice of genuinely asking others for their perspective before sharing his own. This invites open dialogue, helps others feel truly heard, and increases the likelihood they’ll be receptive to your thoughts when shared.

2) This idea is echoed by leadership expert Simon Sinek, who talks about the quiet power of being the last to speak in a discussion. By allowing others to fully voice their views first, you earn respect and your words carry more weight when it’s your turn.

Imagine how different workplace meetings, family disagreements or personal partnerships could be if we all approached them with curiosity about others’ perspectives and asserted our own with confidence yet compassion.

3) Another effective tool is the use of positive affirmations – You know how much I love using affirmations; declarations we repeat to ourselves to rewire unhelpful thought patterns and instill new positive beliefs. Think of it as telling the truth in advance!

Here are 10 affirmations designed to cultivate more open, honest and assertive communication:

1. I communicate my needs and feelings openly and honestly, respecting myself and others.
2. I have the courage to express my thoughts directly and respectfully.
3. I choose clear and constructive communication over indirect methods.
4. I am confident in my ability to address issues directly and seek resolutions.
5. I respect the viewpoints of others and listen actively when they speak.
6. I express my disagreements with kindness and seek understanding.
7. I am worthy of expressing my needs and having them met.
8. I approach conflicts with a positive attitude, looking for common ground.
9. I am responsible for my own emotions and communicate them without blame.
10. I foster relationships based on honesty, respect, and mutual understanding.

By repeating these affirmations regularly, we reinforce beliefs that allow us to communicate with clarity, confidence and consideration for others.

So to become a more confident and compassionate communicator:

• get in the practice of sincerely asking for others’ views with, “What do you think?”
• allow the quiet power of truly listening first before speaking, and
• choose a few affirmations from this list to repeat regularly as your new self-talk.

It may feel uncomfortable at first, but stick with it – you’ll quickly become an assertive communication pro – you got this!