Family Gatherings: Love Them or Leave Them?

Holidays are coming up and for many of us that means we’ll be attending some family gatherings. I’ve worked with enough clients over the years to know that although for some families it is tons of fun to be all together, for other families get-togethers can be a bit strained and awkward, and…well, even end up a little unpleasant.

To set an intention that your family interactions this season will be peaceful, pleasant, and even fun, I’ve written up this list of energetic AND practical tools I hope you find helpful.

Prepare ahead:

Visualize a bubble of light surrounding you. With intention fill it with love from your heart, and picture the bubble emanating the light outward.That way, anything you perceive as negative coming at you will contact your bubble and bounce back to where it came from 10-fold in light and love.

Try repeating these affirmations out loud by yourself, before you get there, and in your head if needed while there:

I own my own power ~ I let my light shine ~ I attend this gathering as my best self ~ Anything negative bounces off me and transmutes into light and love ~ I belong here ~ I see the good in others ~ I’m a beacon of love ~ I am secure in who I am ~ I am always good enough ~ I see evidence of how my family supports me ~ I am supportive of my family

If you have a family member(s) you have uncomfortable feelings toward, pray and meditate on how you can let go of those negative feelings. Ask for the ability to catch a glimpse of them as God sees them.

We all have a team of angels – I believe they are our ancestors who know us and love us, so of course they want us to have pleasant and successful family gatherings. In your mind, ask your angels to go ahead of you and clear up any negative energy in the location of the gathering, and to keep the space light and clean while you’re all together. (I know, this one sounds woo-woo, but it works!)

And also remember:

Elenore Roosevelt said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent”. Only YOU are in charge of how you feel. No one can make you mad, or make you upset. The emotions you’re feeling are yours, and they get activated within you because of your perception of what the other person is saying.

If you get offended, ask yourself what is it that brings up those emotions in you? Generally, it’s somewhere within us that feels insecure in some way.Usually something from a past incident, that’s still holding on to some residual emotions. Give yourself permission to acknowledge that, and let those emotions go with a couple of deep cleansing breaths.

It’s also helpful to say to yourself, “Cousin Bob (or whomever) thinks totally differently from me and that’s ok”. It’s the “and that’s ok” part, that is most helpful when repeated in our mind. It doesn’t mean you need to shy away from a respectful or enlightening conversation, it just helps us to be more gracious and accepting of others.

Seek to understand. Get to the heart of things by asking questions in a relaxed, open, non-defensive way. To quote Stephen Covey: “Seek to understand before seeking to be understood.”

Try any or all of those at your next family gathering or business get-together – they can be adapted to any situation.

If you want more help on letting go of stubborn emotions, (just in time for Thanksgiving!), join me on my Group Call on Forgiveness you can learn more and sign up here.